


Explain It To Me / Soul Mates

by Destiel_Mythos



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Other, awkward explanations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 12:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_Mythos/pseuds/Destiel_Mythos
Summary: Castiel has been reading fan fiction and, as always, has many questions. Sam sends the angel to Dean for his answers.





	1. Explain It To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Characters are based on television characters from Supernatural. 
> 
> I have been reading fan fiction since January 2019 and after three and a half months of solid reading I had an idea that I couldn't shake and wrote it down for fun. It was actually only supposed to have one chapter but I got on a roll. This is my first ever fan fiction posting so I hope you like. :)

** Chapter 1 – Explain It To Me **

It was mid-afternoon in the bunker and everyone was relaxing, enjoying a stress free day; this had actually been an entire stress free week as there had been no cases at all. It was nice having time to kick back, get some extra sleep and read a book that wasn’t in some way related to the monsters they hunted.

Mary glanced around at the men she sat with. Sam was reading the latest Stephen King novel, like they didn’t have enough horror in their lives he was now reading about it, and Cas was reading something on the tablet he had borrowed from Sam. Mary shook her head in wonder.

It was still so unreal to her that this mild mannered, seemingly normal man next to her was actually an Angel of the Lord. While she couldn’t deny he was handsome, she herself wasn’t attracted to him in any sexual way. It surprised her even more the casual way her sons treated Castiel, called him Cas, joked and slapped his shoulder; it was irreverent. Dean tended to touch and hug the angel frequently and the angel just soaked in the attention like a giant trench coat clad sponge never complaining and always happy to be included.

Just then Castiel looked up at Sam for a moment as if checking on him and then his eyes automatically scanned the room. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was searching for Dean and Mary really had to wonder about _that_ relationship. From the time she had entered the bunker and the angel had found Dean alive, he had clung to him like a leech – not letting her oldest son out of his sight unless it was absolutely necessary. Even then, Dean would get texts and calls and though he never said anything, she knew in her heart they were from Castiel; Dean was even worse. Dean was constantly texting the angel – checking to be certain he was okay and where he was.

Castiel shifted in his seat again and finally set the tablet down sighing deeply. “This is confusing.” The angel declared.

Sam looked up from his own book. “S’up Cas?”

“These stories – they all have some type of underlying romantic theme but they all describe kissing their partners differently. And then there are the ones who got divorced and re-married but they don’t describe it the same, just saying that it’s different. If it is always different, Sam, how can they write books about it?” Castiel looked at Sam curiously.

Sam smiled and gave it a moments thought. “Well, I’m no expert but maybe it is always different because it’s with different people and no two people are alike Cas. Like you for instance,” the angel looked up quickly with a look of concern, “you had sex with April and kissed her, was that kiss the same as anyone else you’ve kissed?” Sam asked patiently. Mary listened while pretending to read; she didn’t know how Sam and Dean could stand the angel’s endless bizarre and often embarrassing questions but they constantly indulged him – particularly Dean which she found odd because he really wasn’t the most patient man she’d met. They indulged Jack the same way and she thanked God that he was currently in his room binge watching something on Netflix.

Cas seemed to be considering Sam’s question. “Granted, but then how would you know the difference between a regular relationship and when you’ve found your soul mate? These books don’t explain anything – they just say how the couple _know_.” Cas used air quotes and Sam could see he was frustrated.

Sam grinned and teased the angel, “Why Cas? You think you’ve found your soul mate?” It was meant as a light hearted question but Castiel nearly choked on the water he’d been drinking. Sputtering in his glass before wiping the drops off his bright red face he looked nervous.

“N no. I just want to understand.” The angel stammered slightly before pulling himself together.

Sam noted the pink staining his cheek bones and shook his head. “Why don’t you ask Dean.” He finally suggested. “He’s kissed more people than I have, maybe he’ll know. Then if you have other questions he can answer those too.” In Sam’s experience, there were always more questions, each more awkward than the last and he could only imagine what the angel had been reading on his tablet.

Castiel seemed to consider this and nodded before getting up from his chair. Just before he left the room, he grabbed up the tablet again and thanked Sam for his assistance. Sam nodded and smiled fondly.

Once Castiel was gone, Mary turned to her younger son. “That wasn’t very nice, sending him to Dean with those kinds of questions.” She scolded.

Sam shrugged, chuckling to himself. “Dean won’t mind. It’s Cas. Who do you think gave me the talk about the birds and the bees? I think he’s even given Jack the talk already.” He picked up his book once more but couldn’t help wishing he could be a fly on the wall of the TV room for the conversation his brother was about to have. He muttered more to himself than his mother, “Besides, maybe they can work out some of that unresolved sexual tension and stop eye fucking each other.”

Mary gasped, eyes going wide but Sam ignored her reaction. He didn’t care if Dean and Cas were together or not, so long as they were both happy. He wondered in some vague way how Mary would feel about it if Dean came out as bi.

//\\\

 

Dean was in the small alcove laying on a soft brown leather sofa when Cas sauntered in. Dean smiled at his friend. “Hey Cas.” He scooted up so he was reclined on the arm of the sofa, making a place for the angel to sit. As always, Cas sat closer than necessary but it didn’t bother Dean any more. He just flopped his legs over the angel who sat directly on the middle cushion and glared at the TV. “What’s wrong?”

Cas looked over at Dean wondering if he should really ask his questions. He sighed. “Sam said I should ask you about kissing.” He said honestly and Dean’s green eyes went wide. Immediately he glanced behind the angel to see if anyone had heard him before looking back into those innocent blue eyes.

“Uh excuse me?” Dean stammered. His only thought was _Holy crap!_

“Why do they describe kissing differently in all books? Sam says its because no two people are the same so they would not experience it the same but then when describing finding and kissing soul mates, the words used to describe it are often the same: fireworks, sparks, electric. I just don’t understand Dean.” Cas seemed genuinely annoyed and Dean chuckled relaxing back once more.

“And what makes Sam think I would know anything about it?” Dean questioned.

“He said because you’ve kissed a lot of people you might know.” Cas answered. He stared at Dean in that way he had and Dean started getting lost in his eyes. He loved looking in the angel’s eyes, it was like drowning in star light and there was a feeling of warmth and safety and home; he didn’t understand why the angel’s regard made everyone else nervous including Sam. Dean looked away for a moment feeling dizzy in a pleasant way.

“Well, I might have kissed a lot of women but I obviously haven’t found my soul mate yet because if that’s the reaction I’m supposed to have I would know, wouldn’t I?” He asked Cas.

The angel looked at him considering. “Sam said you’ve kissed a lot of ‘people’ and you said you’ve kissed a lot of ‘women’, perhaps you should kiss more men in case your soul mate is not a female.” Castiel pulled out the air quotes again to stress the word people and women; he hoped Dean would not get mad at him for saying these things.

He knew Dean had very strict thoughts about the rolls of men and women in his life but he had seemed less rigid in the years since they’d returned from purgatory where Cas had insisted they snuggle every night just to keep Dean from freezing. Castiel had asked how he’d kept warm before finding him hoping fervently that he hadn’t been snuggling with Benny but Dean had assured him that he’d stayed as close to the fire as possible. When Cas had still seemed upset, he’d explained that snuggling up to a cold ass vampire wouldn’t have been helpful even though Benny had offered. Didn’t matter, Cas was still jealous which Dean secretly thought was adorable.

Dean just blinked, opened his mouth and looked away blushing furiously. “Uh Cas I seriously doubt my soul mate is a guy.”

“Because you are straight.” the angel stated and Dean wished he could crawl under a rock. He was so gonna kick Sammy’s ass for sending the angel to him with this shit.

“That’s right.” Dean nodded, proud that he was keeping his cool and not snapping at the angel who was his best friend; it wasn’t Cas’ fault he was uncomfortable with this subject. It might have been different if his father hadn’t been relentless in his education on what was and wasn’t acceptable. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t find the angel attractive – he was gorgeous and Dean had found himself jealous of those who got close to the angel on more than one occasion but, Dean didn’t do men.

He watched as the angel processed this and then frowned. _Oh shit, what was going through his mind now?_

“Dean?” Cas asked but didn’t look up right away.

He sighed, “Yes Cas?”

“Have you read any of the fan fiction based on Chuck’s books?” The angel asked quietly and finally looked up, pinning Dean with those blue, blue eyes.

Dean didn’t even have to wonder – he knew he blushed, it was instant and it was bright. He could practically feel the heat and light radiating off his skin. “No but, um well, those are just stories written by fans Cas, it is not like the stuff that Chuck wrote so it is not real like what he wrote.” Dean’s voice was weak and he could feel his pulse racing. This was the last conversation he’d expected to have with Cas. _How the hell did the angel find fan fiction?_ His mind raced coming up with only one possibility. _I’m gonna kill Sam._

Cas nodded seriously, “But there are all kinds of links to sites where the fans analyze the books and the subtext and, pretty much everything; they seem very certain that you and I are soul mates.” The angel said quietly not daring to look up but he forged on. “And we have a lot of sex in those stories; like a lot of sex.” The angel said blushing brightly and looking like he wondered if it was possible to do it that many times in a day. “Also,” Dean cringed, seriously, there was more? The angel continued with his previous observations, “The majority of the stories seem to want me to be either dom, alpha or top – mostly they have you as sub, omega or bottom.” The angel looked at Dean straight in the eyes finally. “What exactly does that mean? Explain it to me.”

Dean was frozen. _Oh my God. Was he really going to have to explain this shit to Cas?_ His pulse started to race and he could feel heat building up in his body. Sweat actually popped out on his skin without any warning.

Dean groaned and ran a hand down his face. "Jesus Cas. This is a really awkward conversation.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the doorway, hoping his Mom and Sam were nowhere near. He could practically hear Sam’s laughter; the bastard.

Castiel saw his glance. “They are in the library.” He confirmed.

“You can’t tell from the context?” Dean asked hoping that it wouldn’t be necessary to get into the details of what constituted a dom/sub relationship. “Did you try looking in a dictionary?” He sounded winded even to his own ears.

“I want to be certain. I don’t want to misunderstand the phraseology.” Cas was staring at him again still red but looking determined to get answers.

“The shit I do for you man.” Dean pulled his legs back and still sitting sideways on the couch facing the angel so that he wouldn’t have to talk loudly. “Okay a dom means dominant – you got that right?” Cas nodded and Dean went on, “The dom is in charge, what they say goes. – The fan stories with you being dominant want you to be in charge of what happens between us…sexually.” He went to move on quickly to get this conversation past him when Cas spoke up.

“I could do that.” He stated confidently and Dean’s jaw dropped unnoticed as the angel went on. “I think we’d be compatible that way, I’ve made you submit to me in certain situations before and I’ve read enough of those stories now that I,” Dean put up a hand to stop the angel from saying more, shaking his head.

“What?” Castiel asked. Dean just looked at the angel and shook his head. “But you always seem to have enjoyed it when your partners were in control in the bedroom in the past.” Cas went on and Dean wished for the ground to open up and swallow him; he couldn’t even speak he was so embarrassed.

Cas looked up once more and quieted, frowning. “Dean, are you okay?” He asked and placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder in concern.

Dean nodded and cleared his throat. “So, do we really need to talk about the rest?” He asked weakly.

Cas nodded determined. “I would really like to know Dean. I want to understand. I would hate to assume I know what these things mean and be wrong – it would be…embarrassing.” The angel concluded.

“Oh, you think that would be embarrassing?” Dean asked incredulously and chuckled; his face was still a bright red and his freckles were quite visible against his normally paler complexion. He shook his head at the irony of him, Dean Winchester – ladies’ man, having to explain dom/sub relationships to his angel.

“Fine. So what else do you want to know?” he asked and his voice cracked and went up two octaves.

“I want to know about sub, top and bottom and Alpha, Omega and Beta. The Alpha/Beta/Omega stories are actually quite creative but I don’t understand them – often they portray us as shapeshifters; I find it odd considering what we hunt. Perhaps they write this way because their doctorines makes it possible for whoever is the Omega to get pregnant.” The angel looked momentarily confused before he focused his attention back on Dean.

Another groan escaped the man and he muttered under his breath. “You’re so dead Sammy.” Castiel just smiled a benign smile waiting for Dean to continue – he was used to Dean making death threats and besides, Dean looked adorable all flustered like this; it was a nice change for the angel who always felt like he was the odd man out.

“I have no idea about the Alpha, Beta, Omega thing – I haven’t read any of the stories but sub is short for submissive. You got that in your reading right?” He asked somewhat tersely; Cas nodded again. “A submissive is exactly that, submissive. They do whatever their dom tells them to.” Dean explained, knowing he was over simplifying things but not willing to get into details. That would just bring on a whole new plethora of questions he couldn’t deal with.

Cas frowned down at his hands, “Everything?” he asked peeking up at Dean who nodded.

“I don’t know that you could be a submissive –  you almost never do what you’re told and you’re kind of bossy.” Cas said after a moment and it was so matter-of-fact in his deep voice that Dean burst out laughing. Cas looked at him in surprise, he hadn’t expected Dean to enjoy this conversation. He smiled tentatively.

“Oh my God, Cas it’s not like that fan fiction stuff is real.” He was still laughing and wiped a tear that had escaped his eyes in his mirth.

Cas glared at him in stony silence for several moments while Dean got himself together. He was still chuckling when Cas had decided he’d had enough. “Dean!” His voice was loud and brought Dean to immediate attention. “Please finish answering my questions.” He demanded and Dean nodded. Cas did not get mad at him often but he looked like he was ready to get his smite on.

“Sorry Cas.” He smiled at the angel who had gone stiff as a board and was now sitting with absolutely perfect posture next to him. He cleared his throat and started again. “You sure you don’t understand top and bottom?” The angel just looked at him, still glaring.

Dean sighed. “Fine. Being top means that if we ever, uh,” He started stammering – this conversation was much harder than he would have thought it would be.

Cas narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, “If we ever what Dean?”

Dean looked down and rushed through the explanation. “If we ever have sex you would be the one to, um, you know…” Dean was whispering by the end of his sentence and was unable to look the angel in the eyes. He swallowed convulsively.

“No Dean. I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. Often when I think I have it figured out, the stories I have been reading switch the characters’ dynamics and I’m lost again. I understand the basic mechanics of sex but human terminology isn’t always clear and as you are so quick to point out, fan fiction isn’t a real thing.” Castiel said reaching out to touch Dean again to show his sincere desire to understand. “I appreciate this is uncomfortable for you to explain but please help me to understand.”

“You want me to help you understand that the people reading Chuck’s books want you to fuck me?” he asked; his voice was too loud and he couldn’t help how incredulous he sounded but his voice was still gruff.

“Oh!” Cas said sounding slightly breathless. “I see.” Castiel’s ears turned pink and the color spread to his face from his hair down under the collar of his borrowed t-shirt. The look on his face was enough to almost restore Dean’s sense of humor though he hoped there wouldn’t be many more of these conversations.

“Yeah.” Dean looked from Cas back to the TV hoping that he didn’t have any other questions that would leave him mortified.

Dean stared at Cas while the angel fidgeted next to him while obviously deep in thought. _I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with a freakin Angel of the Lord. Chuck is going to strike me down with lightening for allowing Cas to be corrupted. I am so going to hell…again._ Dean’s thoughts swirled as he looked at the angel.

Castiel finally looked at Dean for a long moment and then the little shit began to smile; it spread slowly across his face and made him look much younger and mischievous.

“You were just fucking with me weren’t you? To see if I would answer?” Dean asked and smacked the angel on his shoulder.

“No Dean, I was just thinking that the fans of Chuck’s books want you,” he paused and Dean looked at him with raised eyebrows waiting, “they want you to be my bitch.”

Castiel laughed delightedly at the shocked look on Dean’s face. He couldn’t help it. Dean was so adorable when he blushed.


	2. Soul Mates

** Chapter 2 – Soul Mates **

“No Dean, I was just thinking that the fans of Chuck’s books want you,” he paused and Dean looked at him with raised eyebrows waiting, “they want you to be my bitch.”

Castiel laughed delightedly at the shocked look on Dean’s face. He couldn’t help it. Dean was so adorable when he blushed.

 “Yeah, so not gonna happen Cas. I’m not a bottom; if anything I’d be top.” He said and slammed his mouth closed only realizing what he’d said once it was out his mouth and cursing his smartass attitude that had prompted the remark in the first place.

Castiel sat up straighter. “Dean?”

“What now Cas? Can’t you leave me with at least a shred of dignity?” Dean complained.

The angel didn’t say anything again for a long time. He looked like he was having some type of inner debate as he chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip. Finally, reluctantly, the angel gazed up at Dean, “What if they’re right?”

“Who?” Dean asked confused.

“All the people who say we’re soul mates and that we belong together.” Cas’ voice was so quiet Dean had to lean closer to hear him.

He looked into those expressive blue eyes and saw sadness and something that looked like hope there. He would like to have yelled and kicked up a fuss right there but it would only hurt Cas’ feelings. Dean mentally rolled his eyes while sighing. “Cas, do you think we’re soul mates? I mean, wouldn’t Chuck have said something?”

“Chuck gave us free will to make our own decisions.” Castiel answered.

“You didn’t answer my question Cas. Do you think we’re soul mates?” The angel approximated a shrug and looked away unable to meet Dean’s eyes.

Dean was not a complete idiot. He knew Cas loved him – he had pulled him out of hell, he had healed him so many times, helped on so many hunts, rebelled and been thrown out of heaven, he’d died more than once and faced the leviathan alone in purgatory to keep him safe and he’d done it all for him. He’d even said it – it was all for him, Dean Winchester, not the world – saving the world from the apocalypse had just been a bonus. The thing was, he loved Cas too but….

Dean made a snap decision. “Fine. Kiss me.” Dean said. He said it quickly, decisively and without a hint of his inner turmoil. He was going to allow Cas to kiss him, if that was what it was going to take to prove to him that this was all crazy talk.

“Dean?” Cas looked at him in warily. “Really?”

“Well, if you’re my soul mate, we’ll know, right?” He asked and he was a tad brusque but he couldn’t help that – he was nervous as hell. This was ridiculous. “It’s now or never Cas. If you want to know, then I suggest,” Dean’s voice petered out when he saw Cas staring at his lips, considering and licked his own lips nervously. Dean watched as the angel’s breathing hitched and his eyes dilated.

“Will you be mad if I kiss you?” Cas asked him and his normally deep voice dipped lower again. The hair on the back of Dean’s neck stood as goosebumps broke out along his arms and he had to repress a shiver.

“No. I’m giving you permission.” Dean said. He couldn’t believe he was going to allow the angel to do this but maybe it would make him see that he and Dean were not meant to be together ‘that way’.

“Dean,” Sam said, coming in the TV room, followed by Mary. “Mom found us a case.” he stopped dead when he saw how close Cas and Dean were sitting on the sofa.

“Not now Sam. Cas wants to know if I’m his soul mate.” Dean rasped; he was very embarrassed that his family had chosen this moment to come in but he was still determined to get this shit over with. He didn’t offer any other explanation just kept looking right at Cas, waiting for him to make his move and staring into those gorgeous blue eyes. The angel never looked away or acknowledged his brother or mother.

Sam’s eyes widened when he realized what was happening and Mary’s jaw dropped. She went to say something, but Sam put his hand on her arm and shook his head at her, giving her a dirty look. “Leave it.” He advised, pulling her away from the two on the sofa to head back to the library.

Cas nodded as though Dean had said something to him and their eyes stayed locked. He slid the last few inches until they were impossibly close and reached up to place his hand on the nape of Dean’s neck, gently pulling him forward; his friend stiffened for a moment and then relaxed and allowed himself to be led. Just before their lips met, Castiel closed his eyes; he didn’t want to see the emptiness in Dean’s eyes if they were not, in fact soul mates, or the anger for going through with the kiss, or worse, the rejection because Cas was a man if it happened they were soul mates.

When their mouths met it was soft and gentle; just a pressing of lips and for a moment there was nothing but the feel of the angel’s soft lips on his but then Cas shifted. The angel angled his head slightly and deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue between Dean’s lips and Dean felt it all the way to his toes – his eyes closed and he kissed Cas back. It was several minutes before the angel pulled back panting. He was looking at Dean expectantly. Dean’s eyes were still closed and it took a moment to realize he was reclined against the arm of the sofa with one hand in Cas’ hair and the other at his waist, under his shirt; he sat up. His entire body was shaking.

“Did you feel it?” the angel questioned quietly, aware that their kiss had lasted well past what he had planned, had been far more passionate and Dean had not pushed him away. In fact, Dean’s response had been quite enthusiastic; the noises he’d made pleased Cas immensely.

Dean was stunned. He couldn’t believe he’d just made out on the sofa with his best friend, a frickin angel no less, for the last five minutes. He looked up at Cas in shock, “Where did you learn to kiss like that?”

Cas smirked, “Like I told Meg, I learned it from the pizza man, well, that and April.” He chuckled at the sour look Dean gave him – if he didn’t know better he would have thought Dean was jealous.

Cas looked at him, eyes dilated, still breathing a little too fast, still nose to nose and pressed together from chest to groin. “What do you think Dean?” he asked, his voice rougher than usual; praying to Chuck that for once Dean’s inevitable denial wouldn’t come. He shifted slightly to accommodate his erection and watched as Dean unconsciously did the same.

Dean was staring into the angel’s eyes and a myriad of emotions was playing across his face: surprise, shock, denial, shame, fear, lust and something more. He shook his head in disbelief and watched as Cas’ eyes became guarded and the angel backed up quickly putting distance between them. He could feel the disappointment, resentment and even anger coming off the angel in waves but he honestly hadn’t expected any of this. He hadn’t expected to feel anything but this was _everything_ to the power of ten; he was terrified.

Cas played the moment again in his mind, wondering if perhaps he’d imagined the groan and little noises that Dean had been making; wondering if it was just a natural reaction to being kissed that had Dean trying to take his shirt off. He just didn’t have enough experience to know for certain.

Dean waited for Cas to say or do something; watching the angel closely. His hair was messier than usual from Dean’s hand grasping and tugging at it and his shirt was bunched in places where Dean had been trying to pull it off him, frantic to touch skin. He looked at the disheveled angel and was hit with a wave of wanting and confusion.

“Cas.” Dean began haltingly.

“It’s fine Dean. You didn’t feel it. I apologize if I embarrassed you.” Cas moved to get up, “Thank you for answering my questions.” He levered himself off the sofa trying to get away from Dean as quickly as possible.

Dean grabbed Cas’ wrist and stopped him before he could flee. He took a deep breath; it was now or never. Dean was many things but a coward was not one of them; he would deal with consequences and fall out from this decision later but for once he was going to do something for himself. He had denied it for a long time, but he loved Cas and he wanted him. He tugged Cas back down onto the sofa, leaning in quickly and kissing the angel again.

When they pulled apart, Dean found himself once more pinned under the angel. Cas smiled, “Looks like those people were right.” He said smugly and Dean could see the laughter glittering in the angel’s blue eyes.

“Yeah, looks like you’re my soul mate.” Dean said trying to downplay how their relationship had changed in the last few moments.

“And you’re my bitch.” Cas responded grinning widely and then laughed.

Dean shook his head and rolled his eyes, “Yeah maybe.” He replied before Cas kissed him again.


End file.
